The London Scrooge. (Warning: Will contain moaning)

Lets start on a positive note; I love London. If you've read my blogs previous posts you'll be thinking you're having a déjà vous as before I moved here I shouted my love for the city from the rooftops. But sadly, all romances are only temporary... I am only into my 5th month of living here and I am realising that this "perfect" city has many many irritants. Since living in London I have become one of those 90 year old bastards who spend their days on public transport complaining and tutting loudly. The problem is, I've turned into this character 70 years early and at a rapid pace- who knows what I'm gonna be like after a year? (I dread to think)

So on the hottest day of the year, on board a crowded, overheated district line tube, I began to write this blog that I initially thought had a point, turns out it doesn't. It's just a whole load of ranting about my problems in London Town... Oh lord, brace yourself.

1.Tourists

I thought I'd start with, what I believe to be the driving force behind London's problems; tourists. I know, I know, without the tourists this city wouldn't be what it is today blah blah blah. Yes, this may be the case but can I please suggest that as they land in this country they can be given a "How not to piss off the Brit's" guide book- I think it would really contribute to world peace. This guide I speak of,  would consist of London rules that the people living here just seem to, um.. get. I feel like it's kind of a 'Cult Code' - ooo how catchy. If you are not from these parts, the rules will be no doubt be mentioned in my further ramblings. (I really should patent this 'Guide Book' idea..)



2. Pick your feet up and move a bit faster.

It's a busy city, especially at rush hour and commuters just want to get to their destination without people getting in their way. (Note: never piss commuters off, ever.) Whether you're shopping, taking a stroll, climbing some stairs etc. can I please ask you MOVE. Honestly, nobody gives a fuck what you are doing, just that you are travelling at the same speed as everyone else and not holding up the masses of people.
PS. There is really no need to take a picture of that tree, they're the same as where you're from. So put your camera down and walk..

3. Remove your sunglasses from your face, you're underground.

I don't know if it's just me who this grinds on but it is one of my biggest pet hates. If your sat in the dark, underground where there is NO sun, why do you need your sunglasses on? Why does it bother me so much, you ask? I have no clue. If you're that important so that you don't want people to see your precious face, why are you on the tube in the first place?

4. That really long road with too many people.

Some may know this as Oxford Street. Avoid at all costs. I would honestly rather walk the streets of Brixton at 2am with my tits out than go down here, especially on a Saturday near Primark. Ugh. If you do find yourself nearby, get your elbows out and get your march on. If you're prepared to look like a dick, I find it easier to run as fast as you can in and out of people, you get to where you want to be quicker and you're already miles away before someone gets you for banging into them, genius I know.



5. Queing for the bus.. or not.

Is it just us in Yorkshire that do this? It seems in London that making a queue for a bus is completely unheard of. It makes perfect sense, you get to the bus stop first, you get on the bus first? Apparently not. I was alarmed when I first got on the bus here that everyone attempts to dive through the doors of the bus, at the same time. It doesn't take a genius to work out that this, never ends well.



 6. People up North really are nicer.

I am yet to find somewhere that has nice, friendly staff that give great customer service. I honestly think, I'd
get more of a smile out of my laptop whilst online shopping. It's unbelievable, I have complained about and argued with more sales assistants in the last 5 months than I have in my life. Main places to watch that have THE WORST service, Pizza Hut - Picaddily Circus, Sainsbury's in Putney and New Look on Oxford Street. It always seems to be me that gets stuck with the mouthy one on tills or the one who a waitress gets cheeky with - much to the delight of my friends who get great entertainment out of it. Smile love, it doens't cost anything.

7. Let us off the tube.

Just like the buses, people fight their way to get onto the tube. They just seem to risk their lives to get through the doors when, there's always another one coming in about 2 minutes. I have one simple request when you burst through the doors.. LET PEOPLE GET OFF FIRST. Where have people's manners gone?
The ones getting off will have endured hell for god knows how long, arm pits in faces and someone sat on their lap- they just wanna get off, and when they have done - you can happily hop on the tube of death. Simples.




Luckily for you, and luckily for my peace of mind. I am done. Surprisingly, I despise negativity and moaning - which you will not believe for a second if you follow me on twitter, but it's true. So this blog will last me about a year til I find something that tips me over the edge, again. I feel like I have to end this on something really positive so you'll forget how negative this actually was..

So,
ummmm..

Fuck.. I cant think of anything.

Oh wait, cheese tastes proper good.

Phew.

x

Legally Blonde Muck Up - 7th April 2012 (The end)

I'm bored on the train home from London, so whilst they're still fresh in my mind I thought I'd let those that weren't there or have forgotten what happened. Please bare in mind I will probably have missed a lot. Comment if you know of anything else..

1st Act
- Omigod you guys; when the windows open, two of the men were there too, fully made up in wigs. (Robbie and the guy that play Carlos maybe?)
- When Warner came out the door he had some weird little girls sunglasses on that he didnt take off for the whole song.
- Serious; Jane and Danielle left the tables at the back on the phone so left the guys alone.
- instead of "She's eating Milkyways" it was: "She's eating Maccy D's" with a McDonald's bag.
- When Elle is meant to shout "Girls, girls" before 'What you want', Carley just let them carry on for a while.
- As always in "What you want" they went very wild with the 'ethnic movement'.
- Instead of "Brusier just loves watching Glee" it's was Hollyoaks.
- In 'Blood in the water' when Callaghan says "so I wanna see what?" they all shouted random things and he said "Can you summary the case of the state of Indiana v Stephanie Dean from you assigned reading?"
- before 'positive' - "Vivienne and I went to Nando's together and she's my girlfriend now"
"sorry I just hallucinated. What did you say?"
"he said we went to nandos together and now I'm his girlfriend"
- In 'Positive' the girls came up the lift facing the other way.
- Instead of "both her hair and shoes are flat" it was; "both her hair and boobs are flat".
- In 'positive' they attacked Warner and Vivienne as usual and when they went to the back Vivienne posed as if she'd slapped Warner.
- In Ireland, Georgie and Danielle were singing/dancing along. 
- At the party scene Warner gave Whitney a weird doll instead of champagne.
- Right, how do I explain the bit with Dewey... When he comes to the door the 2nd time and usually burps, as she knocked her shouted "Wait a minute, i'm just finishing off" and then when he came to the door his trousers were undone and he was wiping his hand on his top.
- The ring Warner proposed with was a toy one I think? She said "Wow Warner, it's... odd."
- In 'So Much Better' Carley took Ben's jacket off, threw it on the door and un-zipped his jumper- the "Remember when we spent spring break, in the hot tub every night.." bit.

2nd Act
- In the middle of 'Whipped into shape' when Enid had the remote, Gemma started some Michael Jackson moves.
- Chris was really padded up to look like a huuuuuge woman in the skipping bit.
- In 'Take it like a man' Jane had a bottle of "Love by JLO" so changed the words and kept spraying him with it.
- The UPS package was huge and they couldn't fit it through the door, so had to throw it round the side to Danielle.
- He waited for aaaaaaaages to say "have yourself a super day", was silent for about 20 seconds.
- When the girls came up in the lift for 'Bend and Snap' they were in the Mission Impossible pose.
- Danielle did her own moves for the Lakers girls bit, splits and kicks.
- Chris was dancing along at the end of 'Bend and Snap' before Paulette says "I'm gonna get me some Ky...".
- In the court scene the thong uniform was a wooly willy warmer - So Brooke said; "A delta nu would never sleep with a guy in a willy warmer".
- "Nikos did leave a One Direction CD in the poolhouse once"
- When Callaghan tells Warner to get him a coffee, Lincoln said the most complicated detailed type of coffee.
- At the beginning of the "LB Remix" when Vivienne stands up to do the "That's not what I see", Georgie tried to do it too and stood up with her and Vivienne pushed her back down. They then kept mouthing it was her fault.
- When Mum and Dad came on in the golf buggy, Emmett was in the passenger seat reading a law book and complaining that he couldn't join in.
- Chris' Irish dancing got a bit spontaneous with some strange dance moves in there.
- Chutney has a huge mole on her face, a raisin/sultana stuck on, I think? It then fell off when they went to the bathroom.
- The Stenographer (Georgie) sang the "Omigod we rock.." bit but carried on going, and went higher.
- Carley said "Ladies and Gentlemen, the cast of Legally Blonde" in 'Find my way'.

All the way through it seemed they were trying to get as many people on stage as possible as much as they could and some of the different notes/riff's they put in were amazing - great show!

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."

Just got to warn you before you read any further.. this blog makes no sense, none what so ever. So stop reading, I would if I was you.

Anyway, hi.
A lot is going on in my life right now that is making me think and reflect upon everything around me. This year I had the new years resolution that I would take any opportunity I got offered, despite how scary or daunting this may seem. Unlike a lot of people, I love change and doing "random" things that are way out of my comfort zone- and thinking about this resolution I set it make me think- maybe I'm already following this..

To me, my life is normal.. like an average 19 year olds. But according to everyone else.. it apparently isn't. When I think about it; compared to other people my age (those that didn't go to uni) things are a little different for me, and no, I'm not talking about the fact I don't have a child and 80% of the girls in my year are popping their 9th out. From about 8 years old I had my life planned out, all different career idea's but different ways of getting there. It wasn't until I had to make a decision that I scrapped every idea i'd ever had. I can't believe how much my life has changed since high school.

The first thing I did that was a little strange was audition to be a performer at Disneyland Paris whilst I was still at Sixth Form, which was a bit strange because in my head I was going to university in Newcastle but I thought I'd do something a bit random, not thinking I'd get into Disney. Maybe in the back of my head I knew university wasn't for me, but yet I accepted my place and finally a month before going, I accepted I could not stand another day of education
So September came and my friends all went off to university across the country and I got a call, not from Disney but from PGL - Isle of Wight. Not quite as far oversea's that I would have hoped for but none the less I couldn't wait another day of wondering "what next" so took it. Did I mention I was to move the next day? So less than 24 hours and I packed and said my goodbyes. And I'm not gonna dwell on PGL as I've said many times how amazing it was.

Then when I sadly returned I did something a little unusual for me and turned "normal"- got office job in Leeds and living at home with the parents, again (joy!). I like this job, don't get me wrong. But is it really doing something crazy? Not at all. My mates are living it up at uni and I'm sat at a desk preying for the weekend. Not happening..

So this leads to my latest adventure. In 2 weeks I move to London, according to many - I already live there. Whenever I see anyone I haven't seen in a while they're asking, "why aren't you in London?" - yeah good joke. Isn't facebook a marvelleous thing for keeping everyone updated?
So I'm going to be an Au Pair.. people say this is weird because I hate kids. But there seems to be a common ground and maybe I don't hate kids as much as people think. I know London isn't far so I didn't even think about my decision, it all happened in about a week but as I got to telling everyone I was going it made me realise how many people I have here in Leeds that I love- I'll miss you all! (Pff, like they're gonna be reading this.)

I got reminded of this tonight, that I wrote 8 months ago -

"I can go to London more and that thought makes me happy. I will live there in a few years, after uni obviously."

Amazing how things change. Well Lucy, you're gonna be there a lot sooner. I'm very lucky to have some amazing friends in London and can't wait to spend more time with these people. This is the point i'm meant to be affectionate, but everyone knows I'm shit at that. So you all know who you are down there and I love you all - a lot. Even if I don't say it.
I've been rethinking my decision a lot because of certain individuals trying to peer pressure me into doing things elsewhere. But no, I made this decision and I'm sticking to it. I'm 19 and got the rest of my life to do other things! No further thoughts apart from, when I'm done with this.. what's next?

Any random idea's are welcome. I'm thinking America or Australia. Bring on 2013. Who's coming?

(Ps. Told you there was no point to this. If you've read up to here, you're an idiot)

“Life’s too short to waste time on pretense. Laugh, be merry, and enjoy life the way you want to.”

I want you to suffer my boredom too.

Currently sat on the train back to sunny Leeds after a weekend in London and I am going crazy with boredom and getting more and more irritated at the public around me. I regularly mention my opinion of people, no one in particular.. just the human race. To put it simply, I’m not a fan. I am, surprisingly a very calm person and I don't get angry but I've been thinking a lot lately, which is worrying and it's the small things that do get me mad. So thought I'd write a ranting blog. I shouldn't be doing this with my current status of being one of the most hated people on twitter. I do like to speak my mind and according to the “twitter police”, that is a serious crime. But fuck 'em, first up..

Patronising people - awwwwwwwww.

This has been and always will be my number 1 pet hate. There’s one phrase that makes my skin crawl and is totally unnecessary, no matter the conversation . “Aww bless”. We all are aware of the people that say it a lot and it’s used because you don’t have the ability to think of anything different to say. I’d much rather someone call me the ‘C word’ if they don’t have any other relevant comments. I’d actually like that a lot because the word it awesome, but anyway... please only bless me when I sneeze, I am not your dog or a 2 month old kid.

Tweet tweet.

Nobody loves anything more than doing a twitter rant and as much as I do love it, it annoys the hell out of me. And I'd like to tell you why-

'Unfollow' button - I don't understand what's so hard about pressing this button, but it seems a lot of people have a problem doing so. There's nothing I love more than people you don't even know sending you abuse on twitter about how your tweets are far too "cocky" for their liking. Lets put this simply, if you don't like.. don't read. 

Opinions - I don't know about anyone else, but I use my twitter to obviously follow.. ahem, stalk people's lives, but mainly to just say what I think. When I joined up I didn't know there were rules of what you could tweet and what you couldn't, I'd just like to say what I like without getting jumped. Is that such a problem?

All I can say is, at least I say my own opinions and not jump on someone else's thoughts. You just know if it wasn't for their "idol" or that person they have some worrying admiration for, that wouldn't even cross their mind. "I always think this. I can't stand it too, it's so annoying." - Puuurlease, you love it.

The "Facebookers" - If like me, you are completely addicted to twitter and have done far too many tweets for your own good, you've probably had the experience of a newbie explaining how they can't believe how often you tweet, blah blah blaaaaaaaaah. It gets boring after a while trying to explain to them that it is not the same as Facebook. "OMG! You did 5 tweets in an hour once" - Only 5? Wow, what was wrong with me. Just stick to Facebook, thanks. 

Lets move on from twitter before I get shot..

Txt Tlk.

If ure gunna tlk 2 me plz dnt tlk lyk dis. Its mor effort 2 type lyk dis in da 1st place nd it realli makes ma brain hurt. Cnt say animor bowt this cuz im drivin mi sen mad.

Hippo's.

Hypocrites, what we gonna do with them? The numbers seem to be multiplying by the second and I can't handle it. Everyone has their own interests and beliefs about certain subjects and recently there have been events where opinions on the matter have escalated into pointless wars of hypocritical comments. Accusing people of doing things, that they are acting out themselves. Just drop it. 

Okay.. Coming into Leeds in a min, I could rant forever but I'm boring myself and this blog really shows how pathetic I am. Before I get abused, this is NOT aimed at anyone in particular. Okay, it definitely is and if it's obvious, then... good.